Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sad

Clare eats food now. I'm sad.

Since November 3, 2007 I have been her sole source of nourishment. For exactly nine months I grew her inside me; and for six months, one week, and one day, I nursed her exclusively. She wouldn't even take a bottle.

And now she eats food.

We went to her six-month appointment and found out that she weighs 19.5 pounds, which doesn't even register on the growth charts. I knew she was a beast, but I didn't realize she was that big. The doctor, who nursed her last two children exclusively for an entire year, said she really had no opinion about whether I should start her on baby food. She obviously didn't need the calories, but I really felt like she was interested in the social aspect of eating.

I think I felt a particular kind of bond with her that I didn't feel with Joshua since he drank from a bottle. It just feels different to have been responsible for every single ounce that has nourished her from the moment she was conceived. I guess I'm just sad that my baby's growing up. I remember that I couldn't wait for Joshua to develop. I was completely intimidated by caring for him as an infant. I just wanted him to not be so needy already. Don't get me wrong, he's my heart and soul--it just took me awhile to adjust to being needed all the time.

Maybe it's because Clare might be our last that I'm sad. But she's going to grow up whether I'm ready for it or not.

4 comments:

martha said...

And, from the photographic evidence, she's going to take eating food VERY SERIOUSLY. It appears that food will get ALL CAREFUL CONSIDERATION.

Is she going to be a Worrier Princess like her tia Martha?

Kel Bel said...

OMG she is so cute!!! I cannot wait to get reaquainted :)

anna said...

I think she's saying..."you want me to eat this? Where's the steak?"

She is too stinkin cute.

justagirl said...

Aw! Noelle had nothing but breast milk for 9 months and she gained a pound a week. Man, I'm glad those days are over! Ha ha.