…but not to me.
Monday night (the 8th) I was not quite ready for bed so I was scrolling through my old blog posts to see if there were any new comments. I was surprised to see that there were new comments on both of my posts about The MomsTown Guide to Getting it All: A Life Makeover for Stay at Home Moms and that I had no idea who the commenters were. It only took about two minutes to figure out where these women had come from. I found them over at the MomsTown site, on their “Big Break Forums.” Mary, one of the authors, had posted a thread titled, “Need Your Help” and this is what it said,
Hi Everyone,And then it listed my url.
For those of you who know us and those of you who are beginning to know us, you know that we have dedicated our professional lives to helping moms find there dreams. We love hearing your stories, reading the the connections you're making, and the support you give each other.
Because, the online world is global and has a huge reach we are all able to do good and help each other but every now and then we run into someone like this.
We received a Google Alert from this woman's blog post on our first book "The MomsTown Guide to Getting It All". She believes we are ill- intentioned, that we wrote the book to make a buck, and that we really don't care about moms.
If you have a moment and feel so inclined to respond to her, please post a comment on her blog. We feel she not only judged us unfairly, she's unfairly judged MomsTown. A place where we support all moms.
Mary & Heather
And, as you can see, the MomsTown women came to visit. (I still haven't figured out why Mary and Heather didn't come comment themselves rather than having other people do it for them, but, well, I guess that's not for me to understand).
After reading the comments I hoped to add a little bit of integrity and forthrightness to the situation. After all, the commenters didn't reveal their affiliation, how they had found my blog, or why they had come to visit in the first place. In fact, several of them have blogs of their own, but didn't have the courage/courtesy to link back to their own blogs. So I decided that I would take a trip to MomsTown and post in their forum.
I composed a nice little reply to post on the "Need Your Help" thread. That task complete, I registered on the Forum and immediately received an e-mail welcoming me to the "Big Break Forums." It also stated that my account was currently inactive and that the board administrator would need to activate it.
Since I am obviously not welcome in MomsTownI decided to post my reply here. So if they had allowed me in their forum, this is what they would have seen:
Mary and Heather,
Who thought I’d be posting on your forum? When I saw that the “Big Break Forum” was the origin of all the random comments that suddenly appeared on my blog, how could I not stop by and say hello?
I wanted to come by and address your post on the Big Break Forums that seems to have attracted this attention to my blog. First of all, please know that you are welcome to leave your own comments on my blog if you really feel that I have “unfairly judged” you, rather than sending other people to come to your defense. Second of all, I ask that you please read what I have written carefully before you accuse me of believing that you “don’t really care about moms” and that you’re “just out to make a buck.” Never did I state either of those things. I can understand why you might assume that I believe you were ill-intentioned, but I assure you that I do not believe that you set out to write this book in an effort to intentionally do harm to moms. You would do well to base your understandings of what I “believe” based on what I have written rather than assuming you know what I believe and then communicating that to your readers.
If you go back and read my posts carefully you will find this: What I do believe is that this book contributes to the greater societal misconception that there is something wrong with a SAHM who is satisfied with cooking, cleaning, and carpooling. What I do believe is that the book puts undue pressure on women to live up to the expectation that we can “get it all,” when in fact, many of us make difficult choices between our families and our careers.What I do believe is that if you really think spirituality is an important aspect of a fulfilling life, then you will point readers toward other resources to nurture that spirituality . Instead, you have implied that 15 minutes of mantra a day is sufficient for a healthy spiritual life. What I do believe is that there are reasons for doing good things for others people besides what I will get in return. I didn’t see much (if any) acknowledgement of that in your book. What I do believe is that you are correct in your assertion that taking care of one’s body is necessary for overall physical, mental, and emotional health. If you were to look further down in my posts, you would see that I mentioned how motivated I was to care more for my physical health after reading the book.
I want to also be clear that never did I judge you as people, as you would like the folks on your forum to believe, and I certainly never judged MomsTown. I commented on your book, not your character. I commented on one aspect of MomsTown; I did not pass judgment on the entire enterprise. If you feel I have judged your book unfairly, I can certainly understand that, but be clear that I made no comment on who you are as people or on your business. I have read the reviews of this book on Amazon.com and have a hard time believing that you’re not yet thick-skinned enough to dismiss the opinions of one person in one miniscule corner of the blogosphere.
I’m glad that the two of you have touched so many lives. It’s obvious that there are women whose lives have been greatly enhanced by your books, website, and radio programming. I think that’s great and I hope you keep up the good work!
I apologize if I have caused any hurt by criticizing something that is obviously so important to many of you. It is obvious that you are bright, articulate, and successful women whose lives have been profoundly impacted by MomsTown. My opinions of this book shouldn’t take anything away from that.
Wish you well (and thanks for mentioning me on your radio show, although I hardly believe I have egg on my face),