Because I’m not yet finished complaining about this book, I have to point out two other things that really burned me up (or at least made me understand that the authors’ values are not my values, as if that wasn’t obvious from their insistence that I must “get it all.”)
1. Spirituality. One of the things the authors emphasize is that GALs (SAHMs who are Getting it All) have a strict daily regimen broken down into fifteen minute segments. That’s fine with me. I’m Type A. I like schedules. But they insist that in order to be a GAL then you must dedicate an entire fifteen minutes per day to “spirituality.” Their first instruction is to create a “sanctuary” at home (it should be easily set up and taken down) with whatever accoutrements you might need to feel peaceful and relaxed. Next, spend fifteen minutes in your sanctuary repeating the mantra of your choice, and, voila! You can check off your spirituality box for the day. You have now fulfilled your daily spirituality requirement and are well on your way to being a GAL. Isn’t that great?!? Say your centering mantra for 15 minutes and be on your merry way. Don’t get me wrong…I love centering prayer, but it seems cheap to insist on spirituality as just another thing to do on your way to getting it all. Don’t even get me started on the fact that they cite “elegance” as a spiritual discipline. Gag.
2. It’s All About Me. Despite the fact that GALs are supposed to be spiritual people (a spirituality perfected in 15 minutes per day), there doesn’t seem to be much room for selflessness. In the chapter on finances they claim that “doing generous, selfless things will bring wealth to you” (270). They then tell the story about how one of the authors gave a ten-spot to a guy selling a newspaper in an intersection and told the vendor to keep the change. That afternoon the authors got a call from a publisher wanting to publish their book. Why? Because the author was so generous to the newspaper vendor, they claim. So always be on the lookout for opportunities to be generous, not because being generous is a good thing, but because it will bring you the good karma in the end.
They devote a lot of space to sex and ways to nurture intimacy. Not a bad thing at all, but ultimately they advise that doing good things for your husband will pay off for you in the end. Apparently GALs don’t do nice things for their husbands because they love them. They do nice things to get nice things in return. They suggest offering a foot rub or a shoulder rub because that will help you get in the mood when the time comes. “Remember, it’s not just for your husband, it’s for you!” (222). They also suggest offering compliments to your husband because “When you compliment him, he will compliment you back.”
So to sum it up, to be a GAL, I have to remember that it’s about me, me, me, me, me! Great! Let’s get started!
OK, I think I’m done. I feel better now.
Comments
I don't think that idea of spirituality is only a phenomenon of GALS or SAHMs. Look at so much of the megachurch theology (and preaching) that centers on felt needs and how to get ahead in life using God. Turn on Day Star and you'll see what I mean...God wants you to be rich and successful and have it all...that's what abundant life is...abundant material wealth!
They might as well just put a note in the front: "Thanks for buying our book. You don't really need to read it now, because the important part was You Gave Us Money."
That’s all I need to know to know that this book is crap! :) I used to be Type A, now I’m Type Z. Not sure what happened. Anyway…
The book’s description of spirituality irks me. It’s a description of ritual, which is religion, not spiritualness. For me, true spirituality is simply living in connection with my spirit all day long, whether I’m in the shower or grocery shopping. Dedicating time and place to my spiritualnes cheapens it, like putting it in a box. Even when I was Type A I felt that way. But, of course, that’s just me.
Break your day's schedule into 15 minute segments? Have these people every had an infant? A schedule was something I thought fondly about when I was home with Ty, much less one broken down into 15 minute segments. One blowout diaper and you're behind schedule all day.
I won't even get into my thoughts on the spirituality aspect, MB. I think you covered my thoughts excedingly well.
- 'The Road Less Travelled',
- 'Further Along the Road Less Travelled',
-'Turn Left off the Road Less Travelled onto a Road so Untravelled, it's full of potholes and mudslides',
- 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway',
-'Feel Even More Fear and ....'
- you get the picture. There wasn't one I hadn't read and there wasn't one piece of advice on how to live a fulfilled life I couldn't spout at you! Some of it was helpful to me; most of it was't really, but I kept buying and reading it all.
When I had children, I decided not to read any more such books (except I gave in and read one book on sleep-training for babies and one on encouraging good behaviour in the over-twos).
I am sure that there is a need for support and guidance for SAHMs and a good book or two could probably address this - but not this one, hey!
Whatever happened to the ability to simply disagree with the premise of someone else's argument? There are lots of books I have read that I have not liked and I have shared my negative opinion about them with others. What's wrong with that?
Disliking and bashing seem like two different things to me.